For those of you who do not know this (a) I declared my undying, evermore love for Ronda Rousey some five months ago, and (b) she appeared ‘naked’ in this past issue of ESPN’s 2012 Body Issue. Having never initially heard of this “Body Issue,” I went out and immediately bought every copy available in Austin, TX. With a whooping 3549 copies stockpiled throughout my house, I have 7098 photographs of a nude (but still tastefully covered) Rowdy Ronda Rousey.
Here they are on Cagepotato.
Rousey’s MMA Highlights:
Here are some limericks I wrote for her. Why does The Jiu-Jitsu Wanderer write limericks for Ronda Rousey? Love, my friends. Love. And because I was too, too long ago banned from getting within 300 feet of her. You know, legally “banned.” No person, however, can silence the might of the pen, or the heart of the poet — not even the California’s Code of Civil Procedures section 527.6.
The Muses whisper the name Ronda
Whose butt I am kinda fond’a
The giant thing
Makes me sing
M’hands grasp it like a’anaconda
Photographs of Ronda in the nude,
Impel me toward behavior quite lewd.
But what I won’t say
Or feign, or convey
To refrain from makin’ this limer’ck too crude
Angel with the neck like a thick treetrunk,
Are you in search for a jiu-jitsu hunk?
Call me, write me, fax.
We both have broad backs.
Please don’t tell me my chances have now sunk!
Alright, alright, alright, that’s enough of that. Back to your regularly scheduled programming next week, I promise. Thanks for reading. And I hope, with all the sincerity I can muster on the page, that your IQ did not drop too much reading what I just wrote.