Gracie Legacy Jiu-Jitsu


Saturday, I had the extreme pleasure of being the second person in the history of the Universe to enter, when given a tournament registration form, ‘Gracie Legacy’ as my team. My teammate beat me by thirty seconds, or so.

How did the tournament go?  It went well for both my teammate and me. He had one match in his weight division at blue belt and, after a relatively brief struggle, subbed him from mount. Then he, at 140 lbs, entered the absolute division. His four matches in the absolute division were all against veritable giants, surprise surprise. Nobody scored a single point on him. In the finals, with the score zero to zero and the match over, the ref gave the decision to his 205 lb, Grecian-statute-looking opponent. I do not know what your sentiment might be, my audience, but if I was a solid 60 pounds heavier than someone and found myself entirely unable to pass their guard, and had obviously made the decision to play conservatively enough to not lose, and still at the end of the match had not scored a single point, I would have told the ref to give the match to my opponent.1 My sense of honor, dignity, propriety would impel me.

Anyway. How did I do? I did surprisingly well. Or not surprisingly, depending on what you believe about my abilities. While the first place medal in my weight class, at purple belt, was a little lackluster – the actual, physical medal I mean – the dagger they gave me for winning the absolute purple is pretty gnarly-looking.

I’m almost positive I’ll use it one day…if I ever need to slay a dragon. Or if I need to cut things that normally don’t cut…like the chains Bowser uses on Princess Peach Toadstool, or a large block of metal, or the Sun, or a cutting board…or something.

Incidentally, I forgot to mention that I’ve had my blue belt for four years now.

That’s me, the fall of my junior year in college.  Sadder, apparently.  And with a little more hair.

Yes yes, so I did quite well. All my matches were taped; and if/when I get my hands on said footage, I’ll post a match for your perusal. Thanks!

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1.  And believe me when I say that I wanted to pile on clause after clause after clause into that sentence. There are objective reasons why I think my teammate won that match. An additional contributing factor to my clause-happy approach is that I have few grammatical inhibitions when hungover. I admit that fact here and now.

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